That's a good point, and one that is sort of made in the article - that if people are taking about you in a certain way, perhaps it's something you should look at.

I found out once, some years ago now, that I had been the subject of many conversations about my temper and unpredictability, where I'd get suddenly cross with people saying things I didn't like, or agree with. Someone got brave enough (or cross enough) to tell me to my face. Of course, at the time, I reacted badly. But later it set me to thinking.

If that many people were saying those things about me, were they *all* wrong? Or did i really need to take another look at my behaviour, and do something about it?

That was a real turning point for me. I now think that if someone can say what they think are your bad points to your face, and you can hear it, and think about it, and accept responsibility for it, then you really can be a better person, if you want to. Or you can go 'I don't care what people say, I am me, people can accept it or go jump' - that is a positive outcome too, because you are still owning responsibility for yourself. As long as you REALLY mean that you don't care, and aren't just saying it, anyway!