Chain Letters

[emmelinemay]

I loathed them as a child, at school, when you had to painstakingly hand-write 6 letters to classmates so you weren't horrendously guilty breaking a chain that prince harry is in or whatever.

If you don't do it, THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN will cry. If you don't do it, your PET WILL DIE. HOW CAN YOU BE SO SELFISH as to BREAK this WORLDWIDE chain. PRINCE HARRY HIMSELF IS PART OF THIS CHAIN.

I was about 14 before I finally had the courage to throw one away, and that was mainly because I was too lazy to write it out. I still had the cold hand of paranoia at 'breaking that chain' gnawing at me for years.

I loathe them now, when they come in the form of emails, be they apparently well intentioned (Look at this cute rabbit! awwww! Now send this to 10 of your most loved friends and you'll get a surprise! trust me! It works!!!!111eleventy) or just plain nasty (Look at this cute rabbit! awwww! Now send this to 10 of your most loved friends or you'll DIE IN A FIRE SCREAMING IN PAIN WHILE MEN WITH KNIVES FOR HANDS ANALLY RAPE YOU).

Please don't send me chain letters, emails or texts, however sweet the message is, and whatever it promises you. You are *not* going to get a million pounds hand delivered by Richard Branson/Bill Gates/The Sultan of Brunai just because you forwarded an email mainly comprised of >>>>>s. You are NOT going to meet the love of your life because you forwarded an email from Sharon from Accounting to everyone you've got in your address book. Neither technology nor love works that way.

You know, if you DID meet the love of your life after forwarding that particular email, you'd be paranoid for the rest of your life, wouldn't you? Obsessively forwarding everything, just in case.

And if you died, single and alone, would your epitaph really be 'If she hadn't broken that chain, she'd be alive and married right now...'?

The latest wave of these appears to be text messages. 'Here is a HUG!!!!!! Forward this HUG to 50 friends and you'll get a nice surprise soon!' I'm sure I will. A fucking enormous phone bill. Nice surprise for Orange, anyway.

Chain Letters. Just Say No.


now copy and paste this entry, and send it to all of your friends, or the kitten gets it.

Comments

[blu-matt.livejournal.com]

I endorse this message. Please tell your friends.

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

copy this email, and send it to everyone you know whose name begins with A.

If you don't, ceiling cat will watch you masturbate FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

What, like all the time? You'd rub yourself raw and have to walk with a stick. Two sticks.

[blu-matt.livejournal.com]

And a large dollop of some topical cream.

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

Most of my friends know not to send them to me now! One friend was a particular offender, until i finally snapped and was like DON'T SEND ME THESE BLOODY THINGS!!!

She still sends one every now and then with a 'ignore the passing-on bit, it's got a nice message' comment on it.

Nice message my arse! If it's got a nice message, one that people will want to forward, it will get forwarded, without the need for anything along the lines of 'IF YOU FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO 15 PEOPLE WITHIN 10 MINUTES A HANDSOME STRANGER WILL GIVE YOU CANDY. IF YOU FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO 15 PEOPLE WITHIN 10 MINUTES AN UGLY STRANGER WILL GIVE YOU CANCER. '

[hirez.livejournal.com]

When I was still sent them, I would reply to the poster with a pointer to the relevant section of http://www.vmyths.com/ or snopes.com

Once in a while I'd get a stroppy reply banging on about 'so-called computer experts thinking they know everything' (Yes we do. Now fuck off.) but they go away and stay away.

The very last couple have been paypal-related pyramid schemes. (send a pound to the first person on the list, etc) I sent them the link to the 'this will get your account yanked' section of the paypal t&c.

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

Wow, those have made it online too? That used to be 'post a pound to everyone on this list'.

There was a knickers one as well. 'post a pair of new knickers to everyone on the list, and you will eventually receive loads of new knickers through the post'.

[blonde-venus.livejournal.com]

I did the knicker one though! It was ace!

[green-badger.livejournal.com]

The knicker one was indeed ace. :)

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

Did you actually get knickers?

[green-badger.livejournal.com]

Yes. Although Mel, who was above me in the chain, didn't. How that worked I had no idea. (Her knickers were stolen by the postman?)

[blonde-venus.livejournal.com]

Yes! I was known as a bit of a pervy goth (no idea why) and got about 6 pairs of really cool fishnet g-strings and the like. What fun!!!

[ant-girl.livejournal.com]

I have to confess, I always just ignore them, and always have done.

But I always feel a twinge of guilt, especially when the message asks you to include the sender in the list of people you send it on to... so they'll *know* you ignored it. I feel like I'm being terribly rude.

So to the person who me one earlier, it's nothing personal against you, it's just that I always just ignore them. ;-)

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

I know that pang of guilt also - i have a feeling that may hold a clue to the reason i hate them so much.

Although rationally i know they are a load of bollocks, i still feel that guilt and paranoia. Everytime I'm sent one, I'm reminded of that guilt and paranoia!!

There's no nice way to say 'i hate these things. Sending them to me makes me cross' is there? It's like trying to tell someone you've known for 10 years that they are spelling your name wrong.

[crazymeandave.livejournal.com]

please, please, please, please edit this post so it says "now copy this post onto your live journal or you'll get inundated with chain emails from your chums"

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

heheh :)

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

done. sort of.

[crazymeandave.livejournal.com]

cheers chum :]

[blu-matt.livejournal.com]

Scientists Decode the First Message From an Alien Civilization...

Simply send 6 x 10^50 atoms of hydrogen to the star system
at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your
star system at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other
star systems. Within one-tenth of a galactic rotation you will
receive enough hydrogen to power your civilization until entropy
reaches its maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

if you DON'T DO THIS your nearest gas giant will go SUPERNOVA and destroy ALL LIFE as you know it.

[jez-alone.livejournal.com]

*head hung in shame*

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

hehe :P

I've been needing a good rant for a while, you just gave me a reason ;)

If you want to say you care, say you care! Don't make the person you care about have to tell 10 other people they care ;)

Don't feel bad!

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

Maybe they're actually a life-form! breeding, communicating, evolving...

[nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com]

I'm with you.
Never understood them at all.

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Actually, if there ever was something worth forwarding to all my friends it would be this! I can't stand the bloody things either...

[girfan.livejournal.com]

Luckily, the only ones I get are from my mother or clueless on computers relatives. If I did start getting them from friends, I would have words, since I tend to think most of my friends have a clue.

[green-badger.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I got one the other day that said 'Forward to the 20 most attractive women you know.' That was kind of nice to get. Then again I have utterly failed to forward it on to anyone...

[minigoth.livejournal.com]

Amen to that!

[myf.livejournal.com]

It sounds like a lot of people need to start sending this link to their acquaintances - I've used it a few times:
http://www.thanksno.com/

[shiftplusone.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, i am going to have to yoink this, but reword the beginning. It's alot easier to read than my tirade of swear words when i tried writing something like this.


But i did mention giant fucking robots with death rays.

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

yoink away.

Damn, I knew I'd missed something.

Hmm. I need a transformers icon.

[shiftplusone.livejournal.com]

EVERYONE needs a transformers icon.


Ok, time to go find one....a sexy one....with lazers!

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

Everything is improved by lazers, surely.

[shiftplusone.livejournal.com]

Global warming?

[shiftplusone.livejournal.com]

Just noticed the good taste in icons...;)

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

EDDIE FTW

[shiftplusone.livejournal.com]

Hells.yeah.


Might see if i can fill up my icon quota JUST with eddie icons.


or giant.fucking.robots.

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

giant fucking robots AND eddie, in an animated gif, with lazers?

[shiftplusone.livejournal.com]

Can Eddie have the feet of an alien too...and maybe a shoulder cannon?

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

the giant sholder cannon goes without saying.

[shiftplusone.livejournal.com]

I think this thread just made my day....and has given me an outlet for my brainslugs for a few hours.


Now, where's a photoshop tutorial when you need one?

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

can't help you there, i SUCK at making icons. I steal all of mine.

[shiftplusone.livejournal.com]

One day i will be great, but for now....I am on a yoinking mission, or will try using the trick of saying "pleeeeeeeeeeease?" in a kiddy voice til someone gives in and makes me one.

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

that's normally my trick. And how i ended up with this one.

[shiftplusone.livejournal.com]

YATA!