Adventures of the Dread Pirate Emmeline May

Following a number of debates that my posts on street harassment, the objectification of women's bodies in the media and 'male priviledge' have prompted here on my journal, this article pretty much says everything, only much better than I could manage.


Thanks to miss_soap for the link.

I got harassed again last night, this time by 2 boys, probably between 14-16, on bikes. I was walking to Angel with SL, who'd come to check out Brownies with a view to helping out, and they deliberately swerved towards us (they were cycling on the pavement) meaning we had to jump out the way.

Funnily enough¹ we'd been talking about harassment as it happened, as SL herself was bothered by a bloke last week. He'd come up to her as she walked home at night, and tried to talk to her. She, feeling rather nervous about the attention said something along the lines of 'why do you think it's ok to talk to a lone woman when she obviously doesn't want to talk to you?' to which he responded with something rather rude in Arabic, and was horrified when SL responded in Arabic, and left her alone. It left her really shaken though. We were talking about our experiences of this sort of thing, when the kids on bikes came back, this time from behind us so we didn't see them, and yelled 'BANG' as they cycled right through us, almost knocking us both over.

Made brave by daylight and the busy street, we yelled obscenities at them, they returned, and tried their best to intimidate us and claim 'we's only doing it cos you's beautiful. what's the fuck is wrong with saying 'bang' to someone? we're not doing anything wrong'.

Not doing anything wrong. Well, apart from cycling on the pavement, which is a pretty obvious one. They don't see that they are doing anything wrong in harassing two people minding their own business, and then threatening them when the two people don't just take it. But then, the first time they did it we did nothing, which only seemed to encourage them to do it again. They eventually buggered off following a combination of SL screaming at them, we calmly telling them that street harassment was illegal (it's not, not in the UK anyway, but it bloody well should be) and that I was calling the police. 'Did we scare you?' they ask. No. I say. You've fucking pissed me off you little shits. Who the FUCK do you think you are? I then pretended to be talking to the police, on the phone, at which point they shot off and didn't bother us again.

Were both left rather shaken, and full of rage, and talked about how dreadful it is that this sort of thing goes on and no one ever does anything about it. It also occurred to me that I wasn't even sure I'd want to write the incident up here, because every time I do talk about This Sort Of Thing the comments always go ridiculously epic due to a small minority of idiot men who can't understand that gender specific street harassment (that is males harassing females in a public place) is a real problem for women, and shouldn't be marginalised or swept under the carpet, or invalidated with comments like 'my arse got grabbed in a club once/some women like it and therefore it's the woman's fault'.

I don't think I've ever got quite so angry about anything like this before, to be honest. I feel like my feelings aren't taken seriously, or the feelings of the many women who reply to my entries about this with anecdotes of the countless times it happens to them.

I guess I'll have to get used to the fact that some people just Don't Get It. I'm half expecting some replies like this to this post, perhaps I'll just need to get a thicker skin about it, before I write about things like that in a public post again.

The incident above was, granted, more of an 'fucking kids' incident, it was a busy day time street, so the rape-fear wasn't there, but the thought that either of them might stab us was very much at the front of my mind.


[1] - or 'ironically' if you are a fan of Alanis Morisette who has managed to popularise the idea that 'ironically' means 'coincidentally'

Thanks to littleangel_103, who has brought my attention to this site, which, while being one of those horrible little frame set websites, seems to be about the exact same thing that's been getting me in a right rage lately - 'casual' street harassment.

Particularly interesting are the stories from women who have experienced it - it's the same story pretty much over and over.

It seems that somehow, a large proportion those of you with a Y chromosome seem to feel it's ok to shout and leer and approach women in the street. Well, IT'S NOT. And I'm not going to go on a big rant about why, as I've already done that once recently. As the week has gone on since I wrote that, I'm increasingly coming to the opinion that it doesn't actually matter why it is unacceptable and just plain wrong - what matters is that it is unacceptable and just plain wrong.

( under a cut, as it accidentally got long. again. )

Why, with the enormous amount of (albeit anecdotal; and we already know that anecdote =/= singular of data) evidence out there that this is a huge, and totally endemic, problem with society, is it not MORE IMPORTANT?

Answers on a postcard.

If i start wearing dungarees, stop washing, and start singing protest songs in parks, someone please kill me. Especially if i start talking about burning my bra.

<Rant>

( Dear Men, )

</Rant>

EDIT: I'm adding this in, to the guys reading this who are saying 'hey, we're not all like this...'

Men don't get it, because they're either too nice to understand why other men would behave like that, or they're the fucktards doing it in the first place.

EDIT: A small number of women have said they don't fear rape per se, more attack. I'm not going to change it, because I think it's the fundamental difference between women and men walking home at night - men might fear attack/theft/mugging, but there's something much more basic, more primal, more personal about the fear of rape than the fear of attack. And these men that say 'allo darling' - well - these are SEXUAL ADVANCES. And we don't respond badly to them because we think these men are going to take our phone or our wallet. I'm not telling you 'YOU FEAR RAPE'. I'm explaining WHY women react badly in those situations. I would go as far to say that some of you have misunderstood my point, zoned in on one part, thought 'she says i fear rape! no i don't!!' and not taken into account the *context*.

If you do still take issue with the use of the word 'rape' - please feel free to re-read substituting the word 'rape' for 'hurt'.

EDIT: 'To Men' - it will stand. I know there are exemptions, but it's making people read it, and if it wasn't controversial, who'd bother? ;) I do accept some of you have valid reasons for taking issue with 'To Men', and I agree with those points, but again, it will stand, mainly because I think it's funnier. I will also direct you to this excellent comment which is written better than i managed.