Always buy the DJ porn, never lie on the radio

[emmelinemay]

So I get to the Soho Revue bar (after an emergency trip to Claire's Accessories to fix my hair. I didn't have time to go home from work before the gig, and it was looking less than fabulous) at the time I was told to be there by Pete - 7pm. the doors aren't open yet, and there's no sign of Brian.

Then a text comes through - he's having a hell of a time with the trains, and he's not sure he'll make it at all! I can't get in without him, as the tickets are on the door under his name, and it's going to look well doggy if I go an and say Hi! I'm Brian! (one of the nice Australians we met later suggested I should have gone to one of Soho's many famous shops and bought a fake moustache and a strap on...)

So we tell Alex Zane that I was waiting for 45 minutes in the rain.

More about that here if you are on my friends list.

Drinks there start at £7, they don't do pints, mainly cocktails. It's cheaper to buy a cocktail there or a bottle of wine than a 'normal' drink. There was also a waiter service, so we never had to leave our table. This invariably led to massive drunkeness.

We met two lovely Australians, Eugene and Matt, who asked if they could sit with us, then tried my cocktail (Winter Ice Tea - if you're ever at the Soho Revue Bar, have one, it's OM NOM NOM NOM NOM) and liked it so much they got a round.

The Kills came on stage at 9pm, over an hour after doors opening. No support band, just them.

The Kills are an odd band - just the two of them and a drum machine - She's from the US, he's from the UK and is Kate Moss' current boyfriend. I couldn't help feeling that the majority of the crowd where there for the IN factor, the Kills are (in the UK anyway) famous because he's Kate Moss's new bloke. The crowd were either unenthusiastic or too cool to dance, and not many people seemed to know the music.

I quite like The Kills, they've got a good sound and are both clearly talented. URA Fever is a great song, and they delivered it brilliantly live. However, many of their songs are very samey, and after half an hour your attention starts wandering as the songs start to blur into one another. They are, in short, a very good indie band, but nothing blisteringly new or different.

I read later that they are really anti-industry, but to me they appeared anti-fan too. They seem quite, dare I say it, pretentious, and rather contrived. I am all for bands being anti-industry, the music industry has long been due for a shake-up, but to me that means putting the power back in the hands of the musicians via the people who buy your albums and see you live - not totally ignoring them while you play, giving the impression that you wouldn't notice (or care) if the whole crowd left halfway through the set. But that's just my opinion ;)

We didn't see Kate Moss.

We did find a backstage pass on the floor, which we attempted to use, but didn't get away with it. We also asked a crew member to ask The Kills if they'd be willing to leave a message for Alex, and he did go to ask, but came back with 'no chance love, it's mental back there' whatever that may mean o_O

So we left, and I called to leave my message. I was 3X winter iced teas and half a bottle of wine worse for wear by now, and wasn't 100% sure, once the message was over, what I'd said. I know I said something about going into a sex shop, as I was standing right in front of one and it's the first thing that popped into my head. Whoops.

I think I covered it nicely though - I've already had a few messages telling me my "next time I'm in a sex shop, I'll buy you some porn Alex" was a pretty slick comeback, which is good to hear, as I was convinced I'd yet again embarrassed myself live on air.

What I managed *not* to say was that in the sex shop the book I picked up to look at as it had a very pretty picture on the front contained pictures of at least 4 people I know.

Alex Zane appears to be quite as mental off air as he is on air. He was eating a huge cheese that had the best before date of 7th Jan, and hadn't been kept in the fridge, and he made us all smell it.

I didn't pass him any messages from those of you that knew him or his brother, as my brain leaves my head as soon as I go in there, and I don;t know what I'm saying or doing really. I'm amazed I managed to say a word as big and clever as 'belligerent'.

So tonight it's the XFM New Music awards - I am REALLY excited about this. Firstly because there are some GREAT bands playing (including Air Traffic, who I tipped to be big about 2 years ago after seeing them play the Water Rats) and secondly because saying 'Hi, we're the XFM gig pigs' might actually get us backstage this time... we can but hope!

Also, Alex Zane himself is presenting the show tonight, with Pete, so fingers crossed!! If we can't blag this event, we are officially MASSIVE FAILURES.

I've updated my gallery with some rather good pics of The Kills, my drinks, and one photo of PORN (which is probably NSFW - it's the last picture in the set, so you've been warned), and the photos are also on my facebook.