spank your wife for jesus

[emmelinemay]

someone please, please, PLEASE tell me this site isn't for real?

Thank you for visiting Christian Domestic Discipline!

We hope you'll enjoy your stay here. This website was created to provide a home for couples involved in a Christian Domestic Discipline marriage where they might find information and share fellowship with other CDD couples without having to wade through pornographic or warped practices of what God created for marriage.

O_O




It gets better. CHeck these out...Armour of god pyjamas. They even come with a pope hat.

Comments

[s0b.livejournal.com]

It is inspired!

I'm not sure what it was inspired by, but it's quite brilliantly done.

I'm fairly certain it is a hoax. Most of these whacky (pun intended) religious websites operate out of a PO Box in Texas; this one has used GoDaddy.com to register the domain name which usually means it is an anonymous registrant.

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

i really hope it is.

because if stuff like this is for real i hereby resign from the human race.

[s0b.livejournal.com]

but each to their own surely - if you look for it I'm sure there's an equivalent site for each religion and each gender!

(although the bible is actually quite specific about the length and width of the stick than a man can use to beat his wife)

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

Dear World,

It is with regret that i hereby tender my resignation from the post of Human Being in the Human Race. I feel that i can no longer fulfil my role in the organisation.

I feel my 28 years with the organisation has given me a solid grounding in disappointment, cynicism and despair; which i hope will be beneficial to me in my new career as a duck billed platypus.

Best regards,
Emmeline May

[s0b.livejournal.com]

Check Leviticus before you decide to be a duck pilled platypus - there's a very alarming piece in there about the platypus, and a lack of quality lubricant in ancient Judea ...

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

leviticus is full of the fun.

and any excuse to use this icon.

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

well, these christians say CDD is agaisnt the word of god.

It must be so confusing being a christian into BDSM these days.

[glamgothruthy.livejournal.com]

fantastic - where did you find it?

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

the font of all crazy - stupid_free :)

[glamgothruthy.livejournal.com]

that really is barking yanks community isn't it...

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

it's great. I love it there. Through that community i have discovered people who are pro-paedophilia, pro-bestiality, and anti-adoption.

[liz-lowlife.livejournal.com]

Just the sort of people we need more of!

*facepalm*


Seriously though, just telling kids about the Bible is a can of worms in itself.
I had to tell the kids the story of Noah today (by law, I might add) and I emphasised this wasn't truth by any means....unless you were a christian and believed it. The first question I got was, "But if God made us and loved us, why did he destroy us with the flood? He should have sent the Ten Commandments down instead!"

Actually, that was a dead clever question wasn't it?!
Go Harry, who asked it!

My reply?
"Christians believe that man was made in God's image....and we know just how many mistakes we make!!!!
God was having a bad day, clearly."

They were satisfied with that!
But I'm not.
Because, as Harry rightly observed, the next time that God was dissatisfied with our general behaviour, he sent down a bunch of useful rules to live by.
God got it wrong that time.
What kind of religion can justify the entire genocide of the world's population, coupled with inbreeding as a result of life on the Ark?!!

And another thing!
We were discussing which animals were saved...I said all of them....even headlice!
One kid suggested sharks for our Ark song.
Another kid rightly pointed out that there was no need to save the sharks as there was a blooming great sea everywhere and the sharks would have been happy as could be swimming around in it!


The strangest creature that one kid wanted to save was the leech, "Cuz they are way cool...they suck your blood!

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

teach them about the Flying Spaghetti Monster next.

next time i have to fill in a form asking for my religion, i'm saying pastafarianism.

[gaius-octavian.livejournal.com]

That would be because humans had interbred with Nephilim and the resulting half-angel species, who were an abomination in the sight of the LORD, needed wiping out. At the time of the Ten Commandments the main problem was idol worship, which could be fixed without killing anyone.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yungfuktoi_/]

"Though we recognize by its very nature this subject can be erotic, we will keep this website as clean and wholesome as possible. However, we will not seek to deny the erotic nature of some CDD marriages as we believe it is a natural consequence of following God's plan. After all, He created eroticism to be enjoyed inside a Christian marriage."

BDSM evangelical angle? I think they might find some converts in our scene....

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

dude, you've *got* to read some of the stories on that site.


Lucas spanked her across the basement floor and made her walk up the stairs first where he spanked her bottom every step of the way. He spanked her through the house and up the stairs again to their bedroom. By the time they got there Alyssa was howling in distress, her bottom feeling set afire. He pushed her inside and finally stopped his relentless spanking.

Lucas put the belt down next to her on the bed and removed his jeans. Alyssa’s heart picked up in rhythm when he lifted her further up into the bed and moved her legs apart to lie between them. She could barely breathe as he entered her, so afraid he’d hurt her. He was such a big man. If he was still angry with her. . .

Lucas made love to her with exquisite gentleness, tenderly cradling her sore bottom in one hand while he held her body close to his with the other. Though she didn’t feel like reaching her own climax, his lovemaking comforted Alyssa, and by the time he was through she had stopped crying and her heart felt much better. They lay in each other’s arms for a long time afterwards

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yungfuktoi_/]

What is that, Victorian erotica?
Bless'm O_o

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

well, apparently:

ALL FICTION SOLD IN THE CDD STORE IS INTENDED FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND SHOULD NOT BE USED AS A GUIDE TO CHRISTIAN DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE!!! NONFICTION SOLD IN THE CDD STORE IS INTENDED FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES AND SHOULD NOT REPLACE YOUR OWN GOOD JUDGMENT AND COMMON SENSE.

[miss-soap.livejournal.com]

Right, but CDD has nothing to do with BDSM.

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

it's like BDSM, with added justification and minus consent...

[gaius-octavian.livejournal.com]

Those PJs are awesome. We must buy Knifton a set.

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

i was thinking that exact same thing.

they don't seem to do adult sizes though :(

[unclesatan.livejournal.com]

I couldn't read that site without hearing the voices of Mr Grayson and Chumbley Warner in my head.