Tortured artist or Tortured by fame?

[emmelinemay]

Last week I mentioned my pondering on the paths of destruction so many artists seem to go down, and wondered whether they were damaged because they were famous and, or famous because they were damaged.

Synchronicity calling. Why rock and roll stars die young.

It's been proved by SCIENCE, people. And Science is neva rong. Rite?

Comments

[miss-soap.livejournal.com]

Maybe when they achive fame, and it doesn't make them happy, maybe that's when they fall apart.

I think that's a valid point actually. Many people who have a self-destructive bent crave love and approval, because they don't love themselves, and fame/fortune would seem to be the answer to it.

However their issues are entirely internal so fame/fortune will only serve to amplify those problems, rather than fixing them. The individual often can't/won't address their inner demons so ends up back on the road to self-destruction, only this time with a fortune to help them achieve it and fame enough that the media will be all too happy to push them along.

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

I know that anecdote =/= the singular of data, but my theory is sort of based on the way i felt as my time in interlock drew to an end. Ever since i was a little girl (troubled family life...) i wanted to be famous. As Interlock got more well known, and I got worse mentally, and then subsequently better, I came to the realisation that my desire to be fame was a lot more to do with my state of mind, my internal issues, my inner demons, my need to be accepted and loved, my need to stick in in the eye of those that bullied me at school.

As i got better, i managed to pull myself off that path of destruction, and funnily enough, the desire to be 'famous' was replaced with a desire to be 'happy'.

I hated being recognised by people i didn't know, I hated my name being mis-spelt in magazines. I hated people thinking they knew me because they'd read an interview, seen me on stage. I *hated* it. One someone i didn't know came up to me in a club, and they gave me a drink, and it was my 'drink of chouce' at the time. I had a panic attack over that. Odd, isn't it?

I has a similar thing when I lost a lot of weight. I'd always believed 'when I'm thin, I'll be happy'. I got thin. I wasn't happy. My whole world view crumbles, and the world falls over. That was the time i can pinpoint as when my depressive tendencies spiralled down into full on depression.

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is/was 'Interlock'?

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

a band i used to be in :)

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Never heard the name before... *is ignorant*
Industrial music?

[emmelinemay.livejournal.com]

industrial death metal sort of thing. They're really very good, if you like that sort of music! Very good live. Loads of energy.

I changed a lot as a person, and musically, and I had a lot of problems with my throat, and in the end I wasn't able to commit to them, personally or musically, as much as I should have, or as they needed.

Good old musical differences :)