Discussion Topic:

[emmelinemay]

One can be self-concious and un-self-aware at the same time.

Often, those who are most self-concious are the most un-self-aware.

Discuss.

Comments

[johnnydarke.livejournal.com]

Firstly, there's surely a big, if somewhat arbitrary distiction between 'self-conscious' and 'self aware'...the former, to me, would imply a more negative state of mind...knowing you've got a spot on your face and being careful not to rub/scratch it so as not to make it worse, as opposed to having a spot on your face and refusing to leave the house.

It mainly depends on WHY you're so 'aware'...some people have analytical minds that soak up details and focus on small irrelevant things, but this mindset is an end in itself; info for info's sake, so there tends to be a balance between the positive and negative aspects that they see in themsleves. More often, i think, the analysis/attentiveness is only a means to an end; these people go looking for faults in themselves, and the more they find, the more they obsess about finding other faults.

It's also to do with whether you derive your self-image internally from yourself, or from others. Megalomania aside, I'd say that the former is the more healthy mindset. For one thing, you have absolutely no idea what other people see in you; it's the difference between seeing yourself in a mirror, and watching yourself on film.

To give an example (although I always end up in trouble for saying this)...cosmetic surgery patients are a good group to look at if you want to see a clear distinction between internal/external egos. There are those who have cosmetic surgery for themselves, and those who have it for others...this was really brought home to me when people found out about my impending rhinoplasty; 9 out of 10 people i spoke to gave the "oh, why!? You don't need it!". The prevailing view (not entirely unjustifiably) is that only insecure people have cosmetic surgery...but speaking for myself, I'd say it was more down to a healthy pride in my appearance. I never had anybody make negative comments about my nose (i actually had quite a few compliments) and I was not convinced that it was ugly, and would not have lived an unhappy life without a nose-job...I just thought that it didn't suit my face particularly well. It's the same sense of pride that makes you get your haircut...and we don't go around reassuring our friends in the hope that they'll quit going to their stylist.

Lastly, there's the perceptive/cognition gap...a dysmorphic (is that a word?) view of yourself could mean that even though you judge yourself in a fair, reasonable way, you're making those judgments based on flawed information; If every time i looked in the mirror i saw a fat, ugly guy then I'd damn well want to do something about it.

So, to sum up...First of there's the level of attention you give to yourself, why you're doing so, how accurately you see yourself, and then the criteria/attitude with which you pass judge this information. Of course it's not a linear process; there's feedback to/from each of these 'stages', affecting all the others in a constant dynamic...Your self image determines the mindset with which you begin the process, and the process itself determines your self-image.
You may start out judging yourself well, but something you notice could change the initial motivation for self-analysis, meaning you start looking for particular things instead of looking at yourself with an open mind.

Um...I've forgotten what the question was now.

[johnnydarke.livejournal.com]

I really should have proof-read a comment that long, shouldn't I...