Street Harassment

[emmelinemay]

It's still happening, but as I now have Obvious Headphones, I can pretend it isn't happening, and ignore it most of the time.

Here's what I wrote last year
(link is to the tagged entries, so scroll down past this one!)

Someone on 2wheelsbetter linked me to an article I thought fit quite well along with those rants, so those of you that were interested in those (which was broadly split between the women that understood, and the men that got offended and said BUT I'M NOT LIKE THAT to which I'd reply read this)

"Why do you think it's OK to harass women?" I said calmly, loudly. The man froze, then a look of fear washed over his features. He shrank like a worm. "What?" he snivelled, his eyes sliding to the floor. "I didn't say anything bad ..."

"It doesn't matter what you said, I didn't say that you could speak to me. It's not OK to whisper in a woman's ear when she's going about her business.


There are also some 'but WOMEN DO IT TOO' and yes, but 'I'M NOT LIKE THAT' comments to the article there too. I sincerely hope I don't have to explain to anyone reading why this makes me cross.

from one of the comments:
It would be great if, instead of claiming we're making a fuss about nothing, the decent men out there accepted that this *is* a problem for a lot of women and make it clear when they see it happening that they don't think harassing women is funny or acceptable.

Comments

Re: i can't beleive i'm dignifying this with a response

[load-of-flannel.livejournal.com]

Excellent well im waiting for your insightful reply on the assumption it will be relevant then.

Re: i can't beleive i'm dignifying this with a response

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Why don't you read this and this again and report back. I have nothing to add to that and emmeline's comments.

Re: i can't beleive i'm dignifying this with a response

[load-of-flannel.livejournal.com]

Yuip read it.

erm your point.

I accept I am priviliged in some situations... never ever denied it....AS YOU WOULD KNOW HAD YOU READ WHAT I WROTE.

Do you accept you are priviliged or are you in denial of the essays you pushed at me that you blatantly dop not subscribe to?

Re: i can't beleive i'm dignifying this with a response

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Other than white privilege (which I absolutely have, and I have never denied it, in fact I have never discussed it online before), what privilege do I have, pray tell? Or had you not noticed I'm female?

Re: i can't beleive i'm dignifying this with a response

[load-of-flannel.livejournal.com]

Yes.

And had you even read what I wrote you would have garnered some level of understanding of what I was saying.

There is privilige everywhere. I consider females to be priveleged in certain areas.

If you'd rather consider yourself unpriviliged thats up to you.

Perhaps when considering your undoubtedly misplaced vitriolic response you will take a moment to connsiderr that I have not denied the other forms of privilige.

Although both you and Emmeline seem to think I have.

I am STILL waiting for an explanation as to why.

Re: i can't beleive i'm dignifying this with a response

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Are you serious? You really can't see why I think your reasoning is at best flawed and at worst ridiculous? You come into a post about women being harassed, where every single woman who has posted a reply confirms this does indeed happen, yet you still feel the need to point out that you have it oh so hard and try to negate what happens to us? Can't you just agree that it is bad these things still happen in 2008 instead of trying to point out your own woes, which, from the astoundingly stupid list you have posted here, are minor compared to what we have to put up with? How on earth you ever managed to become a lawyer is beyond me...

But seeing you obviously need to have it spelt out to you yet again, let me address the list in question:

1. The ability to randomly leave any meeting, organisation, session or work on the basis of potential womens troubles. No one will question it.
If you think that women like being crippled by pain once a month you are seriously mistaken. I personally don't suffer from this (so no privilege for me there, sorry), but my flatmate for example suffers from it so badly all she can do is lie down. And this happens on weekends as well, so it's not an excuse to get out of work, as you seem to be implying. Furthermore, do you really think any woman would get up in the middle of a meeting and announce she has cramps and just leave if she wasn't really suffering? And do you honestly think that nothing is mentioned about this afterwards? And that doing so on a regular basis doesn't affect her future in that company?

2. Means that you are actually allowed to wear pretty much casual clothes to work regardless of your working location or job role.
Riiiight. Because places that enforce a dresscode for their male staff don't enforce it for their female staff. Pull the other one! Wearing a tie is a symbol of oppression now? I’m assuming you went through the school system here, you should be used to wearing a uniform.

3. Entitles you to pretty much assumed settlement in a divorce regardless of your behaviour or income.
And in the majority of cases the woman is still the one who gives up all or part of her job to raise any children, thus leaving her with outdated skills when she is forced to go back to work. You don't think that they are entitled to some form of compensation? I am not talking about exceptional cases like the Mills-McCartney divorce here, but your average run-of-the-mill housewife.

4. Entitles you to anonimity in a number of legal cases, most particularly rape which allows a woman to destroy a mans career and life without actually risking her own at all if she so wished
I partly agree with you there, I don't think the man's identity should be revealed either unless he is found guilty. However, the reason it is withheld for women is because it is hard enough for a woman to report a rape and go through the trial process without everyone knowing about it. You claim you're a lawyer, you should know the rape conviction rates are incredibly low.
Also, women who falsely accuse men of rape and get found out don't get off scot-free, they are jailed. As they should be. Just a few examples, the first two of many that came up in a Google search:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/09/30/nrape30.xml
http://www.gooletimes.net/news/5162/false_rape_claim_lands_teenager_behind_bars

Re: i can't beleive i'm dignifying this with a response

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

part 2 as it wouldn't all fit:

5. Allows you a massive wack of maternity leave because obviously women need to look after babies not men. Men get nothing.
Yes, because the woman GIVES BIRTH!! It's a traumatic experience and you need recovery time. Then there is the fact that most women breastfeed and there is still an enormous lack of childcare facilities in the workplace in this country, so where are they supposed to put their baby that needs to be fed every 3 hours? In a basket on their desk? That’ll go down well with her colleagues...
Besides, there is such a thing as paternity leave. Again, you claim to be a lawyer, you should know this. Here is a helpful link: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/WorkAndFamilies/DG_10029398
Also, whether a woman getting pregnant affects the company she works for is beside the point. This may come as a surprise to you, but men can’t give birth. So unless you want the human race to die out and we go back to the times when women were chained to the kitchen sink and didn’t work, there are occasions where, shock horror, women will have to take time off to give birth. Deal with it, because unless we can find a way to grow babies in factories a la ‘Brave New World’ this will not change. And the main reason why the woman ends up being the one who stays home and takes care of the baby is because in the majority of cases the man is still the one earning the higher wage, therefore it makes more sense for him to keep working.

6. Apparently allows sexual discrimination on the basis that all Gyms offer female only sessions as do swimming pools and sports facilities. Something not available to men in general.
Personally I don't enjoy doing my exercises and having a bunch of guys standing there waiting for a boob to fall out my top, or stare at my crotch. And I'm not alone in this, hence women-only sessions. If you feel that women are doing the same to you, and you know there are other men who feel similarly oppressed, why don't you talk to your gym and request a men-only session? See, we never said you couldn't have an hour of your own. If you don't ask, you don't get. Of course there may still be some gay men eying you up in the men-only session, but that’s a burden you will have to bear.

7. Reduce the likelyhood of you being subject to street violence.
Again I say: reading comprehension, get some! What the hell is this entire thread about? Jesus Christ on a flipping bike... And I know you're talking about violence towards men here. Well, guess what? The perpetrators in those cases are usually men! Same with attacks on gay men. So what exactly do you expect us to do about it?

8. Means people automatically assume you might be empathic rather than a complete git.
I think you are a complete git because you're giving the impression that you are one. I judge people by their actions, and in this case their words, not by their gender.

9. In most environments guarantees preferential service over a male in the same shop.
Bwahahahaha!!! You have got to be kidding! You're butthurt because you don't get served first? Where does this happen? Tell you what, I'll swap my ‘privilege’ of bleeding for a week once a month and all the perks you think seem to go with that for having to wait a bit longer in a queue. But I suspect you having to wait is more to do with my answer to point 8 than your gender…

10. Oh and you live longer than men but you are pensionable in general earlier.....
How is us living longer in any way something we have control over? Never mind that the gap is closing there as well. And the pension age is the same now. Whether it was before is immaterial, women never used to have the right to vote either. We do now.

There are many more ridiculous points you raised in other replies, but to be honest I neither have the time nor the inclination to address them. I’m not even sure why I wasted my time typing this response as you seem to have no reading comprehension and are so set in your ways I am clearly not going to change your mind. I am done with you, I hope you have a pleasant day.