Street Harassment

[emmelinemay]

It's still happening, but as I now have Obvious Headphones, I can pretend it isn't happening, and ignore it most of the time.

Here's what I wrote last year
(link is to the tagged entries, so scroll down past this one!)

Someone on 2wheelsbetter linked me to an article I thought fit quite well along with those rants, so those of you that were interested in those (which was broadly split between the women that understood, and the men that got offended and said BUT I'M NOT LIKE THAT to which I'd reply read this)

"Why do you think it's OK to harass women?" I said calmly, loudly. The man froze, then a look of fear washed over his features. He shrank like a worm. "What?" he snivelled, his eyes sliding to the floor. "I didn't say anything bad ..."

"It doesn't matter what you said, I didn't say that you could speak to me. It's not OK to whisper in a woman's ear when she's going about her business.


There are also some 'but WOMEN DO IT TOO' and yes, but 'I'M NOT LIKE THAT' comments to the article there too. I sincerely hope I don't have to explain to anyone reading why this makes me cross.

from one of the comments:
It would be great if, instead of claiming we're making a fuss about nothing, the decent men out there accepted that this *is* a problem for a lot of women and make it clear when they see it happening that they don't think harassing women is funny or acceptable.

Comments

[stylishbastard.livejournal.com]

I don't like the idea that someone who feels maligned or under-privileged is allowed to say 'ah..you're privileged..you don't get it, and therefore are not a nice person until you agree with me, at which point I acknowledge you 'get it' and we all continue on our merry way'.

Things are so much more nuanced and contextual than anyone seems to want to accept..and it seems to me that often the people most resistent to that notion are those who like to think of themselves as special, maligned, alternative, insightful, sensitve, 4real or under-privileged. Not specifically aimed at you, but I do think there is an egotism of oppression , particularly among those who are privileged enough to be educated about these arguments and quite like the idea of being bolshie outsiders.

And now I even feel like I ought to qualify these statements (which I think are perfectly defensible in and of themselves) by saying that I do know what it is like to have ongoing experience of street harassment among other things.

[sera-squeak.livejournal.com]

Chick, your "here's what I wrote" link comes to this post. Please fix for I would like to read...

[gothicfreakgrrl.livejournal.com]

On Friday night at KoRn, when I was in the mosh-pit, I was "casually groped" no less than THREE times. One guy grabbed my bum, so I hit him around the head (we were in a mosh pit, I could get away with it). One dragged his hand across my stomach, I lost him in the crowd.
Then, when I was up on Matt's shoulders, some twat grabbed my bum again. Matt and I turned as one to shout, but were faced with shouting a two scared looking guys trying to implicate the other. I was up on my boyfriend's shoulders for goodness sake - what logiv allows anyone to think that is an appropriate time to be touching someone's arse!?!
(Not that there ever really IS an appropriate time to touch someone's arse).
It is SO frustrating to me to think that guys will happily treat me as "one of them" in a mosh pit, and yet some of them still think it is a great opportunity to cop a feel.

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Urgh, it makes me even more angry that there are women saying 'really, I don't know why she's saying that, it never happens to me!' Well, lucky you, I don't know where you live, but I don't think I know a single woman it's not happened to! Just because it doesn't happen to you doesn't mean we're all making it up!

Groping doesn't happen to me a lot, thank god. And when it has, the guy has had a response ranging from me shouting at them, to a slap, a punch, or a rucksack in their face. Harsh? Maybe. But I didn't ask them to touch me, and that's what happens when you do things to me without my permission.

As for the comments, I'm not even going to go into that, it happens weekly. And it's not big and not clever. It's ridiculous, and sometimes intimidating. And I say that as a very self-confident, reasonably strong, above average-height woman.

[nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com]

My partner (male) got his arse grabbed once on a night out. He was furious, and then astounded by my response when I told him how often that had happened to me.
I tend to shout "OI!" really loudly, if I'm on the ball, sometimes I don't react in time.

[icecoldinalex.livejournal.com]

man, it's so easy to be a polite, nice and moral person - and fellas, if you want to get close to ladies, they tend to like you better if you are polite and nice, y'know? why are people so weird?

i have never had a male friend who would do anything like this, even when hammered. It's so ingrained that it is wrong, I can't understand why anyone in 2008 would think it was ok...

weird weird weird. mantraps are the answer, i reckon.